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It is commonly observed at large,
among many of us in our communities, that we quarrel and squabble over
petty or non apparent reasons. We are good in attending weddings and
festivals, but we show hostile attitudes to each other in community or
church affairs. We do not listen to each other with the intention to
understand for a better perspective. We make haste conclusion and poor
judgment of each other without having adequate knowledge and
information. We choose to argue, fight and scold each other instead of
having a peaceful dialogue on issues of common concerns. Political
arguments and spiritual debates have become the battlefields for
character assassination. Consequently, we end up in a serious and
hostile conflicts and that is what is currently happening in our
communities and religious institutions. The major sources of these
problems are poor judgment, lack of tolerance, ill behavior, and lack
of respect among us.
We can learn a good moral lesson from
an interesting story by an unknown author. In the story there was a
wise man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn tolerance, not
to judge things too quickly without having the complete picture of any
situation. So, he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look
at a pear tree that was located a great distance away from his
residence. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring,
the third in the summer, and the youngest son in the fall. We need to
understand that each season has its own unique characteristics,
different from each other.
When they had all gone and come back from their respective trips, he
called them together to describe what they had seen in their
assignments. The first son, who went in the winter, said that the pear
tree was dry, ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son, who went in the
spring, said that it was covered with green leaves, buds, and full of
promise. The third son, who went in the summer, disagreed and he said
that the tree was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked
so beautiful; it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen in a
tree. The fourth son, who went in the fall, disagreed with all of
them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and
fulfillment.
The father then explained to his sons that they were all right,
because they had each seen the same tree but only one season in the
tree's life. However, he told them that they cannot make any rational
judgment about the tree by seeing only a single season. The essence of
knowing what kind of tree it is and the pleasure, joy, and love that
comes from the life of that tree can only be measured at the end, when
all the seasons are put into proper perspective. He shared his wisdom
to his sons that if they give up and base their judgment about the
tree only when it is winter, they will miss the promise of the spring,
the beauty of the summer, and the fulfillment of the fall and their
judgment will not be fair and reasonable.
The moral lesson of the story is that it is not fair to judge anybody
by one difficult occasion or healthy situation we encounter with the
person. It is always better to see both sides of the coin before
making any kind of judgment. Perseverance through the difficult
patches and better times and better perspective of any person are sure
to come later when we take time to know each other very well.
As we let go of negative states of
mind and negative thoughts of any person or situation, we create the
space in our mind for the cultivation of positive thoughts for
peaceful relationship. If we cultivate hostile thoughts and animosity,
instead of the thoughts of love and friendship among ourselves, how do
we expect our children to have a sense of interconnectedness, peace,
happiness, and joy with us and with other people? We all have the
seed of love and friendship within us, we must make the effort to
cultivate it and radiate to our children, family members, and friends.
It is a natural phenomenon that our minds are full of views, opinions,
beliefs, and ideas different from each other. We can not think and act
the same way as the other person because we are different in so many
ways. This is because we have been conditioned by our different
upbringings, religion, culture, traditions, education, associations,
and experiences. From these mental conditions, we may develop some
prejudices and judgments over another person. However, in our peaceful
state of mind, we need to learn to separate the good from the bad and
let the negative thoughts to go away and begin to recognize our biases
and not let them dominate our minds. Then, the thought of nurturing
love and friendship begins to shine in our minds, showing the true
strength and beauty of caring and understanding each other. Love and
friendship can motivate us to behave kindly to our children and to all
other human beings at all times and to speak gently in their presence
and in their absence. We do not have to know or be close to people to
practice love and friendship toward them. If everyone of us holds the
positive thought of cultivating love and friendship, we will have
peace, harmony, and mutual respect and appreciation to each other in
our communities and religious institutions. However, if we cultivate
negative thoughts and develop wicked states of mind, obviously we will
have hostility and animosity in our communities and religious
institutions.
Respecting each other is the
cornerstone of our virtue and the pillar of our unity. We do ill
things if we do not appreciate each other, but we do worse if we end
up judging each other because the more we judge, the less we love. We
need to remember that everyone of us needs some recognition, some
gratitude, and a kind word for comfort. Those of us with best
attitudes and good character always rise above the rest of us. No
matter how wealthy we are, how well educated we may be, how successful
we are, whatever our station we are in life, we are finally judged on
the human element of attitude that we project and behavior that we
reflect to others. It is better to displease our communities by doing
what we know is right than to temporarily please them by doing what we
know is wrong. Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious,
than to have positive attitudes and be able to make the most rational
judgment about our fellow person. Treating those around us as we would
like them to treat us is the best way to follow, which as well brings
peace and harmony in our communities and religious institutions.
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